...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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