I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Randomize
