Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
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