I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
