I am puke
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Sorry my hands just texted you
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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