maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Randomize
