How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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