The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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