Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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