Someone shit on the floor
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
