Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Randomize
