Grow some girl-balls and come out already
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
