You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Randomize
