therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Randomize
