So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
