my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
