Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
