I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
