he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Randomize
