didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
