i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
