I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Randomize
