If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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