how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I'm really busy with my period
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