Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
