My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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