i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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