do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
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