Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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