I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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