I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
