Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
