we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
