Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize