my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
We need to get me chipped asap
Randomize
