I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
