his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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