Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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