Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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