i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Are my feet made of real feet?
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
