his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Randomize
