I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
