Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
