I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
farters have to be the big spoon...
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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