Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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