woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
