I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
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