He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
