haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
