i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
