Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
