Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
The struggles of a small town man whore
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I'm too high and old for this...
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
