margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
