so explain again why im purple
no
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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