i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
