First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
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