haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
