I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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