***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
